


don't forget to (breathe)

by peterandhispirate



Category: Twenty One Pilots, joshler - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Social Anxiety, in which i am josh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-20
Updated: 2016-07-20
Packaged: 2018-07-25 16:47:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7540336
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peterandhispirate/pseuds/peterandhispirate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And for a good minute, Josh was certain he was going to die.</p>
            </blockquote>





	don't forget to (breathe)

**Author's Note:**

> so i almost broke down in a store because of my anxiety but i kinda distracted myself with the thought of this au, so that's rad.
> 
> this will contain themes that may be triggering, so make sure to look over the tags and read safely, frens!

Josh knew his first mistake was agreeing to go with.

He was in desperate need of a new sweatshirt - his cat had shredded his other one - and his 'friend' (let's use that term loosely) insisted that they should go to the clothing store together.

_"It'll be good for you! I promise."_

Not quite.

His stomach had been drowning in nausea the entire way there, but he refused to go back. He was going to do this.

Once they walked through the automatic doors, it was a different story.

Because everywhere he turned or looked or stepped, there was a person. A stranger, a nightmare.

His friend had wandered off, abandoned him; left him to cower behind racks of clothes until someone else strayed too close and he had to hide somewhere else.

He felt like he couldn't breathe.

His heart was an unsteady drum fighting to break free of his ribcage, beating an erratic melody of fear.

_Something's going to happen,_ a nagging voice hissed at the back of his skull. _Keep moving_.

But there was nowhere left to go and he was trapped and everyone was looking at him and-

Oh, god, he felt like he was going to throw up.

_In front of all these people. You're going to vomit in front of everyone._

_Fucking disgusting._

A bathroom. He needed to find a bathroom. Lock himself in. Exit this horror film.

But he didn't know where the bathroom _was_. And he couldn't ask a worker.

He needed to get away. That was all he knew. Flight mode.

The closest he had to a refuge was the far corner of the store, where it was dusty and mostly quiet and he could shake and sweat and listen to his screaming heart.

And cry. A lot.

Big, hot, heavy tears that welled up in his eyes like blood on a fresh paper-cut, because _why_ did he think he could do this? Why was he like this? Why couldn't he do something as simple as go to a store without breaking down?

_Why?_

And for a good minute, Josh was certain he was going to die.

Up until there was another body hunkering down beside him, warm and calm and wide-eyed.

"Hi."

Josh looked up at him with watery, bloodshot eyes and said nothing. His throat was raw and tight.

"Hey, could I get your opinion on something?"

He sniffled, wiped desperately at his face with the back of one shaking hand, and gave a small nod.

"Okay, thanks." The short-haired, dark-eyed boy held out two button-down shirts and asked, "Which one looks better?"

Josh sniffled a little, took the shirts in his quivering hands, and examined them carefully. They were both soft and cool in his fingers, and he breathed out slowly.

Okay.

Okay.

The boy waited patiently for him to make a decision; after a few good moments of careful consideration, Josh murmured, "The gold-colored one would go better with your eyes."

"You think so?" Two quick nods. "Wow, okay. Thanks..?"

"Josh," he informed him softly.

"All right. Thanks, Josh." He smiled a sunny smile that showed off endearingly crooked teeth and lit up his face like a Christmas tree. 

Josh smiled back shyly.

He breathed.

Okay.

_Okay_.

And then there was a shadow falling over him and an irritated voice asking where he had been.

"He was helping me decide on something," the angel huddled beside him swooped in before Josh could splutter out an apology. "That's all."

"Well, did you at least find a new sweatshirt?" 

"I..." Josh trailed off helplessly. He had been too busy losing his mind to really look. "Well-"

"He didn't see anything he liked." Once again, he was saved by the boy with the crooked teeth and nice smile; he sighed softly in relief.

"So I drove all this way for nothing, is what you're saying?" came the short, sharp reply. 

Josh's heart was in his stomach by then. God, he didn't want to start crying again, he couldn't-

"Come on, Josh, let's go."

That's what he had wanted from the beginning - to leave - but the thought of sitting in a small car with someone who was annoyed and passive-aggressive and disgusted with him made his stomach churn all over again.

"You know what? I think he's good. We're gonna go out to lunch or something." The angel boy squeezed Josh's hand reassuringly; his panic settled a bit. 

Narrowed eyes. "Who even is this guy, Josh?"

"I'm Tyler Joseph." A big, _"fuck off"_ smile. "You can leave now."

And, with a final bitter mutter, he did.

"Boy, he was an asshole," Tyler remarked once he was out of earshot. He glanced over at Josh. "I mean, no offense."

"No, it's okay, you're- you're right," Josh admitted quietly, sighing a weary sigh. "Thanks, by the way. For... Everything."

"Hey, no problem. Besides, you helped me finally choose a shirt." Another toothy grin. "It was the least I could do."

"So... Are you really gonna take me out to lunch?" Josh asked bashfully as Tyler helped him upright by the hand.

"I mean, not if you'd be uncomfortable with that," was the immediate reply; Tyler's cheeks were dusted pink. "I could just, um, drop you off at home. But I- I know a really quiet place where we could eat, it's on the corner and not many people go there, and the food is really good and I-"

"I'd like that," Josh assured him gently with a soft smile.

Tyler smiled back.

Okay.

_Okay_.


End file.
